Meeting, Dating, and Choosing an Eternal Companion

     Going off of my previous post a little, to recap we went through what it is that young couples struggle with when it comes to dating and finding out if they're with the "right" person. Personally I have courted and dated many wonderful women and thought that I had met the "right" one, but some of my relationships never lasted long and I always wondered what it was that I had done wrong or if it was something that I said. But the purpose of this post is to help you understand what it is that you need to be looking for in that "right" person.

     Let's delve deeper into how we go about finding, courting, dating and eventually marrying our eternal companion. Sounds a little scary right? An eternal companion, someone that will bug you for the rest of your life, yet our Heavenly Father has chosen that we don't go through this life alone and without any help except his to rely upon. Therefore he has provided a help meet for us in this life. The best example of this is in the Pearl of Great Price (Another form of scripture that we as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints use to further our knowledge of the gospel in these days), it states in Moses 3:18, "And I, the Lord God, said unto mine Only Begotten, that it was not good that the man should be alone; wherefore, I will make an help meet for him." A help meet, from the Hebrew phrase עזר כנגדו (ezer kenegedo) as "help meet for him" (Benner, AHRC). 

     Think about this, there are so many people that could be considered compatible with you. Yet you choose only one to spend the rest of your life with. So what's the deal with that? Why only choose one out of so many?

     I've only had this brought to mind after I've gotten married, but there are certain things that we are attracted to in a person. First of all, we must become aware of ourselves and if we are attracted to the other person, or are we just lusting after them? This then brings you to the acquaintance phase, where you begin to get to know that persona and notice the things that make you attracted to them. For example, you like the way their face looks, or the way they smell, or the way they think about certain things. But the initial attraction needs to be there in order for the relationship to continue. So from this acquaintance springs a buildup to a relationship, what this means is that you go through your regular activities, but you do them together. This includes texting, going on road trips, or just spending more and more time together. 

     But sometimes what happens is that the relationship deteriorates even after doing all of these things and it's hard to get over these blows to your self esteem and who you think you are as a person. Trust me, I have experience in this category. But we want to make sure that when this does happen, we talk it out, rather than leave the other person in the dark about why this came about. So we want to make sure that if one or the other does not want to continue the relationship, we do not coerce them or force them to do something that they do not want to do. Learning from these experiences help us to grow and learn what it is we need to do in order to become that person that the "right" person will be attracted to.

     If you follow these steps then we move on to marriage, but make sure that you get those steps in order too. There are several things to consider once you've made your choice to get hitched. First of all, make sure that you are both deciding to get married rather than transitioning because you feel like that's what you should do. Secondly, make sure that you receive spiritual confirmation that this is the person that Heavenly Father has prepared for you and that you have been prepared for them. If either one of you does not receive that prompting, then you should consider talking to each other and praying as to why it's not right. But if it is, then make sure that you are preparing for your wedding first and then your marriage. What I mean by that is make sure that you prepare yourself mentally for your wedding and all that ensues with it. So make sure that you include your fiancee in your decision at this time and make sure that both of your needs are met for your special day. But also make sure that you prepare yourself spiritually for your marriage. I mean that you should be preparing yourself for the rough times ahead, there will be trust me. But if you are prepared spiritually and you make sure that you and your spouse are spiritually in tune and can rely on each other when the times get tough. When you are there for each other spiritually you can get through anything.